Monday, January 30, 2012

If I Ran For President...

First thing's first- I hate politics with a burning passion. I have my views on what the world should be like but no canidate every matches those to a tee, so I never make the plunge to really back one. Also, I hate hearing about it. Politics is the basis of so many arguments and I don't care if you're 'just talking' about it- no you're not unless talking is continuesly trying to make your voice heard over the person you are talking to and looking at them like 'If only I had a sharpe knife and a good alabi right now.. why I outta...".
You may call me ignorant, but seriously- politics makes me cringe. You can be the Godliest person in the world most days.. but during Election year they turn into the freakin' devil.
Shame on you.

With that said- if I ran for prezzy things would be much, much different.
(If you find yourself rolling your eyes and thinking 'gah this girl is dumb' throughout this post, then you are one of the people I wrote about above. Again, shame on you! Have a little fun!)

Jessica For President!
I mean seriously, how could you resist this face?

Most canidates can't, don't, won't, shouldn't keep their promises but these are promises I would keep.

1. NO MORE PARTIES.
There would be no more democrate or republican parties. They are tearing our nation apart!

2. SWEET TEA WOULD BE AVAILABLE IN EVERY STATE
I'm Southern- that's all the explanation you need.

3. EVERYONE WOULD BE REQUIRED TO HAVE AN HOUR OF EXERCISE.
Every school, place of work, etc. would be required to make their students, employees, whomever have an hour of exercise a day. They must clock-in, clock-out the whole 9 yards. Some people just need that extra push.

4. EVERY EMPLOYEE IS ALOTTED ONE HOUR OF NAP TIME A WEEK
For those days when you just need a freakin' nap.

5. MCDONALDS
Gone. We're all too fat.

6. SOCIAL MEDIA WOULD HAVE A REQUIRED AGE OF 18 TO USE.
Facebook used to be a college site- now there's 5 year olds on it. While were at it, let's make a required 'No More Social Media' age, then we can go ahead and make all our pictures public again.

7. REDUCE THE PRICE OF COFFEE.
We get so upset about gas prices raising.. but let's be real, coffee is expensive and I would save some major mula if my favorite Starbucks drink didn't cost me $5 a day.

8. RELIGION WOULD BE BACK.
Back in schools, back in businesses, back in government

9. ONLY 2 HOURS OF TV A NIGHT.
Open a book people, use your brain, and yes I know how 'Big Brotherish' this sounds.

10. NEW DIVORCE LAW.
Too many people getting divorced these days. Before granting a divorce couples must endure couples counseling, living together, etc. for an entire year. Think 'What Happens in Vegas' Ashton Kutcher- Cameron Diaz style. People don't take marraige serious enough and they should be held accountable for their decisions.
Also- cheating should result in the death penalty. HA- teach those boys to keep it in their pants!
(only kidding- kind of)

11. EVERY PERSON HAS TO ATTEND A MANNERS COURSE EVERY 5-10 YEARS DEPENDING ON THEIR AGE.
There are too many stinkin rude people in this country and they need to learn some manners pronto!

12. LAST BUT NOT LEAST- LADY GAGA SHOULD PUT ON SOME CLOTHES, ACT HER AGE, AND BE APPROPRIATE.
Seriously, she is talented but she so very much sucks in every other department.

So.. moment of truth friends, family, stalkers (hehe), and fellow bloggers..
WOULD YOU VOTE FOR ME?
:)

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